Systematic Theology: Reflection

In the past, I have associated theology with judgmental “head-Christians” who used the study of doctrine to belittle their brothers and sisters. Growing up in a conservative, almost fundamentalist, background where grace seemed to be in short supply confused me. The word “theology” meant stuffy knowledge. It was something people seemed to hide behind in order to distance themselves from the LIVING God.

I had even read Rob Bell’s Velvet Elvis and about had an aneurism when he started talking about the trampoline and brick wall styles of theology. I had always been a brick wall. The mere idea of taking doctrines out and examining them for validity seemed totally blasphemous. Having never experienced anything but conservative thinking, I finally began reaching outward. Interestingly enough, instead of thinking through the theological implications of the things I heard other pastors say, I “left theology on the shelf” so to say, and just accepted everything as truth. I mean, of course I wouldn’t believe anyone preaching a false gospel, but I just kept adding bricks onto my theology wall without analyzing them for truth. Essentially, I was a baby, and I ate whatever was fed to me. The idea of questioning this food rarely occurred to me.

Finally, I came to Huntington and was surrounded by conversation. Debates on just war theory and pacifism intrigued me. Different schools of thought on issues I had never heard of before were discussed in the same conversation. I eavesdropping on another world… a world where there were options and challenges to think through belief. Even though I slowly became involved in these conversations and began thinking critically of the doctrinal beliefs surrounding me, the word “theology” still seemed heavy (both judgmental and removed from life).

Imagine my surprise upon entering the class to hear that true theology is more about living beliefs than sitting on them. Karl Barth truly humbled me. I love that he speaks of theology as something to wonder at. Not only the object of our study should astonish us, but so should our call to study Him at all. Who am I to seek the character of God? I used to think that by thinking through these doctrines, I would place limits on God. Somehow, working my salvation out with fear and trembling was more like not working out my salvation because I had fear and trembling.

We’ve been talking a lot about wonder and the impossible compulsion to “paint a bird in flight.” These concepts sing within me. This semester, I want to grow in this wonder. I want to remove the brick wall I’ve built to “protect me from false teaching” and question whether or not that concept in itself is false teaching. I guess I’m finally excited to jump on the trampoline and wonder.